Making Peace with My Past
I used to believe I had made some wrong turns in my life and "bad" decisions but now I realize they were all necessary to help me become who I was meant to be.
You see, often we view our path and journey with a critical eye, a judgmental eye if you will. When we look back we see all the mistakes we took, stupid things we did and where we really went wrong if life. This impacts our sense of self and confidence level. When we judge ourselves we can't honor and/or love ourselves in any capacity be it then or now. We get stuck in the "should'ves" and "if only" which just makes us feel worse about ourselves.
The truth is this, THERE ARE NO WRONG TURNS IN LIFE. Every decision and choice we made we did with the best of intentions and often because we believed, at the time, it was the best choice given our options.
Going back and belittling the person who made those decisions in the first place, undermines our self confidence and self esteem. So why do it then?
Often we don't know why we judge ourselves or our past, we just do. Many times it's because we aren't where we think "should" or thought we would be now. Sometimes it because we are comparing ourselves to others and what they have done or are doing with their lives. Again, this continues undermine our self esteem and confidence in who we are.
Maybe you're not where you want to be, maybe you have a bigger calling, maybe your waiting for something to happen. Whatever is holding you back, keeping you stuck in a judgmental state, its time to explore that shit. Because as I once read - everything that has happened in your life has prepared you for a moment yet to come {Unknown}. We may not always understand why we choose the path we do and lord knows I didn't when I chose the path to use drugs and drop out of high school, but we do have choice now in this moment to see things from a different perspective. I realize now that I have a unique understanding and experience many people don't and it allows me to hold non-judgmental space for people who believe they have done "bad, dirty and downright ugly" things in our lives.
We all make mistakes, however like I wrote in my book, You're Brave Enough, they only become mistakes after we feel the consequence of our choice. If you want to move forward in life, then its time to let go of what's hold you back through the use of exploration. Grab a journal and ask yourself:
What is one thing I believe I did in life that was wrong?
Did I believe it was wrong then or after I experienced an unpleasant consequence?
What wisdom or knowledge did that experience teach me?
How am I stronger, wiser, kinder or even happier because of that experience?
Do I really know where I would be in life if I had made a different decision or is that a fairytale I keep telling myself?
What power can I find in the experience I'm judging and how can I use to propel me forward?
Remember there are NO Wrong Turns, no bad choices, just the judgment we give to every action and inaction we make. Release the judgment by exploring your truth and finding the power in your story.